Blood Test

Sunday, May 19, 2002 -
Ap�sl�min ida corbalanyrtne 'ls�o rohl'daathi�m v� nen�a iroyss�rd.

How Gay Are YOU? [?]

I am not impressed.

This is only the second test I've taken, but already I am underwhelmed by the experience. My principal gripe is that they are multiple choice tests, and I'm not thrilled with the choices. I'd like to choose "None of the above" for most of the questions, but I guess that would defeat the whole purpose of the test. As my Pop would say, "Faute de mieux, c'est utile."

(Or as the mater would say, "Jesus, Grif, you'll kvetch about anything.")

(Grif, or Griffin, is me. I was named after a great-uncle, on the Welsh side of the family. When we were kids, we called it our Welch's side of the family, and would insist that we had grape-juice in our blood.)

The first test I took was "Which Anne Rice vampire are you?" (I don't know what vagary of ennui inspired me to do it, but I'm not surprised I did. Quite often, I find myself at dubious places when I'm online, but that's the greatest part of the internet's charm.) I'm not a fan of Anne Rice's writing, although I think the world would be a poorer place without Miz Rice in it. I've only read one of her books and it wasn't one of her vampire books. And because of my chronic allergy to Tom Cruise, I've never seen the movie Interview With A Vampire.

And no, Anne Rice is not the Rather Famous Author of whom I wrote previously in this journal. The RFA is not quite that famous. (I mention this only because two people have written to me with this inquiry, and as I told them, I will tell y'all: Blaine writes a damn sight better than Miz Rice.)

But despite all this, I took the Anne Rice vampire test and discovered that I was Armand. Hm. Ah. Um. My reaction was almost utter indifference. But then I remembered that Armand was played by Antonio Banderas in the movie, wasn't he? I checked, and yes he was. Okay, I thought, I can live with that. I was even a little bit impressed (but not much) because I have been told, on at least two occasions, that I look like Antonio Banderas (but a little taller.)

I've also been told that I look like Apolo Anton Ohno*(but a lot taller.)

I don't know where the resemblances come from, because there is no Spanish or Japanese blood in me. I've got Russian, English, Welsh, German and Finn in me. I don't see the resemblances myself, except maybe for the hair. Which on my head approximates Apolo Anton, and on my body approximates Antonio, although I'm not as dark as Antonio, and my hair is thicker than Apolo Anton's. And longer, since I'm thinking of going back to my Fafhrd the Barbarian 'do of a few years ago, when I wore my hair in a braid down to my butt. But that can be such a pest. I'm not sure if I'm ready again to put in the time needed for mane maintenance. It's already annoying me with its length, but the Fiend is excited at the prospect of having all that hair to play with. Which, when you think about it, is almost tantamount to a commitment.

What I really hope, what I really wish, is that my rump resembles Apolo Anton's. I do what I can, with rollerblading and bicycling, but that guy's got an Olympic-class ass.

<~>
Ap�sl�min ida corbalan� 'lse nesgla ugar�-cham sa cru ogrulho bat�oltha al�mv�sde.

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