The Whole Thing Off

Friday, Mar. 21, 2003 -
Ap�sl�min ida corbalanyrtne 'ls�o rohl'daathi�m v� nen�a iroyss�rd.

"You say bologna and I say balogna..."

This is...uh...slightly embarrassing, albeit very slightly.

Apparently, since I misspelled "bologna" in this episode, I'm tops on the list at Google and Yahoo for the "oscar mayer balogna song". I keep getting hits for this, and I feel beholden to the people who come here looking for it. As a public service for my fellow misadventurers in orthography, I present here the lyrics to the Oscar Mayer Bologna Song. This is from a source no more official than my memory, and to add to the confusion in an attempt to avoid it, I'm using yet another variant spelling of the venerable name of the Italian city that made all this possible. (Cue applause.)

Ahem.

My baloney has a first name
It's O-S-C-A-R
My baloney has a second name
It's M-A-Y-E-R
Oh, I love to eat it every day
And if you ask me why I'll say
That Oscar Mayer has a way
With B-O-L-O-G-N-A

And what the hell, let's do the others, just in case someone comes looking for them...

The Oscar Mayer Wiener Song

Oh, I'd loved to be an Oscar Mayer Wiener
That is what I'd truly like to be
'Cause if I was an Oscar Mayer Wiener
Everyone would be in love with me

The snobby kid's verse:
Oh, I'd hate to be an Oscar Mayer Wiener
That is what I'd never want to be
'Cause if I was an Oscar Mayer Wiener
There would soon be nothing left of me

My personal favorite:

The Chiquita Banana Song

I'm a Chiquita banana and I've come to say
Bananas have to ripen in a certain way
When they are flecked with brown and have a golden hue
Bananas are the best and are the best for you

You can put them in a salad
You can put them in a pie-iye
Any way you want to eat them
It's impossible to beat them

But bananas like the climate
Of the very, very tropical equator
So you must never put bananas
In the refrigerator
No no no no

<~>
Ap�sl�min ida corbalan� 'lse nesgla ugar�-cham sa cru ogrulho bat�oltha al�mv�sde.

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