These be the autobiographical adventures of 'Zaziel, a lithe and lusty homo seeking (and finding) love, sex, joy, and sardonic whimsy in the postmodern wilderness of Western civilization.
THE FIEND is the new boyfriend. The Rarebit Fiend. Are you familiar with Winsor McCay? In 1905, McCay created a comic strip called Dreams Of The Rarebit Fiend, about the nightmares of various hapless individuals who recklessly consumed a Welsh rarebit just before bedtime. The surreal world in the sleeping mind of the rarebit eater was a prefiguration of a theme McCay would later explore to the nth degree in Little Nemo In Slumberland. Erik (the Fiend's real name is Erik) earned his nickname by insisting (to anyone with ears) that eating cum before sleeping gave him crazy dreams. Read more....and more.... and more....and more.... and more....and more....
JER is mi compadre y mi amigo. A chum, a pal, a buddy, a bud. Jer is the freshest, dewiest, bonniest bud of May, unfurling his soft, cool petals in the dawn of his manhood. Sweet Sixteen. Except he's seventeen. He is also my roommate. And he may or may not be the hypotenuse in a triangle that also includes the Rarebit Fiend and moi. Jer thinks he's in love with me. Jer mustn't think he's in love with me. Jer can't think he's in love with me. The Fiend thinks he's in love with me. I think I'm in love with the Fiend. Amor con amor se paga. I don't want Jer to be our hypo-tenuse. Jer is too tender, too green, too rosy, too buoyant, to be a hypotenuse. Read more....and more.... and more....and more.... and more....
THE QUEEN OF THE COWGIRLS Among the men I have loved, there has been only one woman. Indeed, she was The First Great Love Of My Life, The Only Woman In The Universe Who Could Make Me Straight, My Almost Blushing Bride, My Scorpion Bitch, My Queen Of The Cowgirls, My Lenore. Always undaunted and adventurous in bed. Sadly, I haven't been in her bed since I was nineteen, when we ended our engagement. I regret that. We were planning a magnificent wedding. Read more....
THE BIG SQUEEZE is a straight friend of mine who enjoys getting blow-jobs from his male buddies in the Lunch Bunch. He's a big-hearted bull who had to learn not to be contemptuous of those who service his cock. But once he learned the proper respect and appreciation, he became a big (if lumbering) advocate of equal rights for queer folk. I love 'im like a brother and a friend and a living personification of the Holy Linga. Read more....and more.... and more....
PETER is Peter Parker. The Amazing Spider-Man. My Former Former Boyfriend. Peter's last name isn't really Parker, but he was a spider-man. Maybe he still is, I don't know. He's a journalist, but when I was with him, he had a sideline: he collected, bred, and milked black widow spiders for their venom. Hey, somebody has to do it. Read more....
BLAINE is the Fiend's Former Former Boyfriend. He is a geographically distant presence in both our lives (he lives in Savannah, Georgia.) Both the Fiend and I work with him, each in our own semi-professional capacity. The Fiend is the co-author of a language, called Ye�ghennish, that is being created for Blaine's yet-to-be-published magnum opus, a big fat sci-fi novel called Two Thousand Pages Of Raw Genius And No Plot. Of course, that's just the working title. For myself, I'm doing some research for Blaine, for a novel he's ghost-writing for a Rather Famous Author Who Cannot Be Named. Blaine has written all but two of the Rather Famous Author's books, including the one that received the most critical acclaim. (Yikes.) Read more....and more.... and more....
THE MATER My surviving parental unit. 66 years old es mi madre. Last year, when I was putting a new roof on her house, she was scrambling around on the roof with me, gleefully nailing down shingles. She doesn't pretend to be younger than she is, she does nothing to hide her age, but she ignores it. Her friends have all had their cuts and tucks and their fat relocated, and have been bleached and peeled and dyed and poisoned (by botulinum toxin. Dermatologists use botulinum toxin to paralyze muscles in the face to smooth out crow's feet, brow lines, and folds in the neck.) But the mater has decided time is a convention that only governs lesser mortals, and simply by force of will, she has become ageless. According to the legends surrounding the mater, she is fueled only by coffee and the occasional Necco wafer. Read more.... and more.... and more....
JOSIE & THE PUSSYCAT Those who know their Steely Dan will have a fuller inkling of why he is called Josie. He would also be called The Man Most Responsible For My Musical Career (even before the Producer Who Sez He Can Make Me A Star) in my Grammy acceptance speech for Best New Artist, if I had chosen to have a musical career, but I didn't. Josie's a damn good guitar player, a damn good piano player, and has a band called the Interchangeable Light Orchestra, or the Ilo (pronounced Ee-low). His first love is the blues, but he also loves all styles and eras (except the current one) of pop music, and he's crazy about things like zydeco, ragtime, bluegrass and cowboy music. He's a part-owner of a small but valiant "live music only" nightclub jousting at the monstrous windmills of DJ-driven disco. Josie's long-time lover, a gentleman I just have to call the Pussycat (I can't resist, and anyway he is a big pussycat), is the Ilo's star vocalist, but once in a while Josie coerces me into singing with them. And I'm Josie's wedding singer�the Pussycat, who sings the blues superbly, doesn't like the fluffy stuff and flatly refuses to do weddings. Read more....
SHE-RA, PRINCESS OF POWER "Goddess Help Us!" cried She-Ra, Princes of Power, "We must put this in a bag and sell it!" Which is, bless her li'l ol' mercenary heart, her standard response to everything I feed her. Sheralyn harbors more vaulting ambitions for the Food Division of 'Zaziel Enterprises than I do (which really should not bring to mind vaults of great height, since I am not an ambitious creature). Because of her, we now cater weddings, not the whole circus, but in 2002 we started providing cookie platters for parties, weddings and other events, and I know my partner in the cookie biz wouldn't mind evolving into a wedding consultant. The Princess of Power has planned the weddings of sisters, cousins, in-laws, most of her friends, and at least one aunt. And, of course, her own. She is the wife of my original partner in the cookie biz, Duncan, who decided, after 9/11, that he wanted to resume his career as a fireman, so he sold his partnership to his wife, for a dollar.