These be the autobiographical adventures of 'Zaziel, a lithe and lusty homo seeking (and finding) love, sex, joy, and sardonic whimsy in the postmodern wilderness of Western civilization.
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THE FIEND
is the new boyfriend. The Rarebit Fiend. Are you familiar with Winsor McCay? In 1905, McCay created a comic strip called Dreams Of The Rarebit Fiend, about the nightmares of various hapless individuals who recklessly consumed a Welsh rarebit just before bedtime. The surreal world in the sleeping mind of the rarebit eater was a prefiguration of a theme McCay would later explore to the nth degree in Little Nemo In Slumberland. Erik (the Fiend's real name is Erik) earned his nickname by insisting (to anyone with ears)
that eating cum before sleeping
gave him crazy dreams.
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JER
is mi compadre y mi amigo. A chum, a pal, a buddy, a bud. Jer is the freshest, dewiest, bonniest bud of May, unfurling his soft, cool petals in the dawn of his manhood. Sweet Sixteen. Except he's seventeen. He is also my roommate. And he may or may not be the hypotenuse in a triangle that also includes the Rarebit Fiend and moi. Jer thinks he's in love with me. Jer mustn't think he's in love with me. Jer can't think he's in love with me. The Fiend thinks he's in love with me. I think I'm in love with the Fiend. Amor con amor se paga. I don't want Jer to be our hypo-tenuse. Jer is too tender, too green, too rosy, too buoyant, to be
a hypotenuse.
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THE QUEEN OF THE COWGIRLS
Among the men I have loved, there has been only one woman. Indeed, she was The First Great Love Of My Life, The Only Woman In The Universe Who Could Make Me Straight, My Almost Blushing Bride, My Scorpion Bitch, My Queen Of The Cowgirls, My Lenore. Always undaunted and adventurous in bed. Sadly, I haven't been in her bed since I was nineteen, when we ended our engagement. I regret that. We were planning a magnificent wedding.
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THE BIG SQUEEZE
is a straight friend of mine who enjoys getting blow-jobs from his male buddies in the Lunch Bunch. He's a big-hearted bull who had to learn not to be contemptuous of those who service his cock. But once he learned the proper respect and appreciation, he became a big (if lumbering) advocate of equal rights for queer folk. I love 'im like a brother and a friend and a living personification of the Holy Linga.
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PETER
is Peter Parker. The Amazing Spider-Man. My Former Former Boyfriend. Peter's last name isn't really Parker, but he was a spider-man. Maybe he still is, I don't know. He's a journalist, but when I was with him, he had a sideline: he collected, bred, and milked black widow spiders for their venom.
Hey, somebody has to do it.
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BLAINE
is the Fiend's Former Former Boyfriend. He is a geographically distant presence in both our lives (he lives in Savannah, Georgia.) Both the Fiend and I work with him, each in our own semi-professional capacity. The Fiend is the co-author of a language, called Ye�ghennish, that is being created for Blaine's yet-to-be-published magnum opus, a big fat sci-fi novel called Two Thousand Pages Of Raw Genius And No Plot. Of course, that's just the working title. For myself, I'm doing some research for Blaine, for a novel he's ghost-writing for a Rather Famous Author Who Cannot Be Named. Blaine has written all but two of the Rather Famous Author's books, including the one that received the most critical acclaim. (Yikes.)
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THE MATER
My surviving parental unit. 66 years old es mi madre. Last year, when I was putting a new roof on her house, she was scrambling around on the roof with me, gleefully nailing down shingles. She doesn't pretend to be younger than she is, she does nothing to hide her age, but she ignores it. Her friends have all had their cuts and tucks and their fat relocated, and have been bleached and peeled and dyed and poisoned (by botulinum toxin. Dermatologists use botulinum toxin to paralyze muscles in the face to smooth out crow's feet, brow lines, and folds in the neck.) But the mater has decided time is a convention that only governs lesser mortals, and simply by force of will, she has become ageless. According to the legends surrounding the mater, she is fueled only by coffee and the occasional Necco wafer.
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JOSIE & THE PUSSYCAT
Those who know their Steely Dan will have a fuller inkling of why he is called Josie. He would also be called The Man Most Responsible For My Musical Career (even before the Producer Who Sez He Can Make Me A Star) in my Grammy acceptance speech for Best New Artist, if I had chosen to have a musical career, but I didn't. Josie's a damn good guitar player, a damn good piano player, and has a band called the Interchangeable Light Orchestra, or the Ilo (pronounced Ee-low). His first love is the blues, but he also loves all styles and eras (except the current one) of pop music, and he's crazy about things like zydeco, ragtime, bluegrass and cowboy music. He's a part-owner of a small but valiant "live music only" nightclub jousting at the monstrous windmills of DJ-driven disco. Josie's long-time lover, a gentleman I just have to call the Pussycat (I can't resist, and anyway he is a big pussycat), is the Ilo's star vocalist, but once in a while Josie coerces me into singing with them. And I'm Josie's wedding singer�the Pussycat, who sings the blues superbly, doesn't like the fluffy stuff and flatly refuses to do weddings.
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SHE-RA, PRINCESS
OF POWER
"Goddess Help Us!" cried She-Ra, Princes of Power, "We must put this in a bag and sell it!" Which is, bless her li'l ol' mercenary heart, her standard response to everything I feed her. Sheralyn harbors more vaulting ambitions for the Food Division of 'Zaziel Enterprises than I do (which really should not bring to mind vaults of great height, since I am not an ambitious creature). Because of her, we now cater weddings, not the whole circus, but in 2002 we started providing cookie platters for parties, weddings and other events, and I know my partner in the cookie biz wouldn't mind evolving into a wedding consultant. The Princess of Power has planned the weddings of sisters, cousins, in-laws, most of her friends, and at least one aunt. And, of course, her own. She is the wife of my original partner in the cookie biz, Duncan, who decided, after 9/11, that he wanted to resume his career as a fireman, so he sold his partnership to his wife, for a dollar.
Wednesday, Aug. 31, 2005 - Resurrection
Friday, June 17, 2005 - Arts and Letters
Tuesday, April 5, 2005 - Domestic Obsessions
Tuesday, April 5, 2005 - The Kindness of Strangers
Saturday, April 2, 2005 - Gone
Saturday, April 2, 2005 - Coming Back, Little By Little
Thursday, March 31, 2005 - Effing Around
Wednesday, Feb. 9, 2005 - Explicably Yours
Sunday, Jan. 30, 2005 - Things Too Innumerable To Mention
Tuesday, Nov. 23, 2004 - Mr. Armstrong
Saturday, Oct. 2, 2004 - The Pope in Our Kitchen
Wednesday, Sept. 29, 2004 - La Graciosa
Saturday, Sept. 25, 2004 - Affinity
Saturday, Sept. 25, 2004 - Even More Quotations
Saturday, Sept. 4, 2004 - Carroll Todd For President
Wednesday, Sept. 1, 2004 - His Name is Meat; First Name's Dead
Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004 - Nearly Round and Chocolate Brown
Tuesday, Aug. 17, 2004 - Horny
Sunday, Aug. 15, 2004 - Short But Sweet Nudity
Friday, July 23, 2004 - Righteous
Sunday, July 18, 2004 - Algae Blues
Wednesday, July 14, 2004 - Fourteen Factoids
Wednesday, June 23, 2004 - How Lovely To Be A Eunuch
Wednesday, June 16, 2004 - My Kind of Miracle
Tuesday, June 15, 2004 - Fear of Paunchiness
Sunday, May 2, 2004 - For the Sake of the State
Friday, Apr. 23, 2004 - Sandpaper Fancy
Saturday, Apr. 17, 2004 - Lust
Friday, Apr. 16, 2004 - Sprung
Thursday, Apr. 15, 2004 - Hard-Boiled
Thursday, Apr. 8, 2004 - The Weekend That Was, fragment
Thursday, Apr. 8, 2004 - The Weekend That Was, Part 2
Tuesday, Apr. 6, 2004 - My Favorite Conjunction
Monday, Apr. 5, 2004 - Outed
Sunday, Apr. 4, 2004 - Baffle
Wednesday, Mar. 31, 2004 - The Weekend That Was, Part 1
Tuesday, Mar. 30, 2004 - More Quotations
Tuesday, Mar. 30, 2004 - Human kindness is overflowing
Friday, Mar. 26, 2004 - When did I become a Feiffer cartoon?
Thursday, Mar. 25, 2004 - VEA*
Monday, Mar. 15, 2004 - Itinerant
Saturday, Feb. 14, 2004 - The Food of Love
Tuesday, Feb. 3, 2004 - Angel Food
Monday, Feb. 2, 2004 - Cheesy
Thursday, Jan. 22, 2004 - Quotations
Wednesday, Jan. 21, 2004 - The Moon is but a Chin of Gold
Saturday, Jan. 17, 2004 - The Quest of the Dooty Nadog*
Wednesday, Jan. 14, 2004 - Excerpt, Not Mine
Wednesday, Jan. 14, 2004 - Cheap Chic
Tuesday, Jan. 13, 2004 - Cheerful Beasts
Monday, Jan. 12, 2004 - Rev
Saturday, Jan. 10, 2004 - Crimes of Commission
Saturday, Jan. 10, 2004 - A Better Explanation, Part 1
Thursday, Jan. 8, 2004 - Limbo
Friday, Nov. 21, 2003 - Cherishing the Inner Bitch
Tuesday, Nov. 18, 2003 - Quicksilver
Sunday, Nov. 9, 2003 - Residue
Friday, Oct. 31, 2003 - Hollowed
Thursday, Oct. 30, 2003 - Respite, Part 2
Tuesday, Oct. 28, 2003 - Respite
Sunday, Oct. 12, 2003 - Vanity Shrugs
Tuesday, Sept. 30, 2003 - Stasis
Saturday, Sept. 20, 2003 - Small Damages
Thursday, Sept. 11, 2003 - Bitter Day
Monday, Sept. 8, 2003 - Giving Good Post
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 - One Hundred Days of Haeckel
Wednesday, Sept. 3, 2003 - Ramblin' Men, Part 1
Tuesday, Aug. 26, 2003 - Appetizers
Tuesday, Aug. 12, 2003 - Bungle in the Jungle
Monday, Aug. 11, 2003 - Baby's Got Back
Sunday, Aug. 10, 2003 - Back
Thursday, July 3, 2003 - Imminent
Saturday, June 21, 2003 - Diasporic
Monday, May 19, 2003 - Protean Cake
Friday, May 9, 2003 - Sulky
Tuesday, May 6, 2003 - Vanity Plates
Sunday, May 4, 2003 - Silken Hell
Sunday, May 4, 2003 - Native Cool
Tuesday, Apr. 29, 2003 - Demon Pelmet
Tuesday, Apr. 22, 2003 - Tease
Thursday, Apr. 17, 2003 - Hot Dick Action
Tuesday, Apr. 15, 2003 - Vagary, Vagrancy, Vanity
Monday, Apr. 14, 2003 - Like Jesus Wore It, Addendum
Sunday, Apr. 13, 2003 - Like Jesus Wore It
Saturday, Apr. 12, 2003 - Sandwich
Tuesday, Apr. 8, 2003 - Tender
Sunday, Mar. 30, 2003 - Indication
Wednesday, Mar. 26, 2003 - Don't Expect Poetry
Sunday, Mar. 23, 2003 - On Any Sunday
Saturday, Mar. 22, 2003 - Absolutely Nuthin'
Friday, Mar. 21, 2003 - The Whole Thing Off
Thursday, Mar. 20, 2003 - Equinox
Tuesday, Mar. 18, 2003 - March of Times
Friday, Mar. 14, 2003 - We are the Randomly Surreal Generation
Tuesday, Mar. 11, 2003 - A Non-Dairyring
Thursday, Mar. 6, 2003 - He's So Fine Art
Wednesday, Mar. 5, 2003 - Saltimbanque*
Monday, Mar. 3, 2003 - An Instance of the Fingerprint
Saturday, Feb. 15, 2003 - Green, Eggs, and Prosciutto
Monday, Feb. 3, 2003 - Winter Made Glorious Spring
Sunday, Feb. 2, 2003 - Mary Richards, Wherefore Art Thou?
Wednesday, Jan. 29, 2003 - Fine Driving Machines, Part 2
Tuesday, Jan. 28, 2003 - Shorts
Friday, Jan. 24, 2003 - All Wet
Tuesday, Jan. 21, 2003 - Boxed
Saturday, Jan. 18, 2003 - Wholly Feline
Wednesday, Jan. 8, 2003 - More Hospitality
Wednesday, Dec. 25, 2002 - Christmas Hospitality
Saturday, Dec. 7, 2002 - Fine Driving Machines
Wednesday, Dec. 4, 2002 - 'Tis the Season
Sunday, Nov. 17, 2002 - Falkin' Around
Tuesday, Nov. 12, 2002 - One Moon, One Book, One World
Tuesday, Oct. 29, 2002 - Fall
Monday, Oct. 28, 2002 - Angels
Sunday, Oct. 27, 2002 - Fire
Special Feature - 'Zaziel Lite, A Shorter History
Special Feature - The superfluous is very necessary
Friday, Oct. 11, 2002 - Green
Wednesday, Oct. 9, 2002 - Sex in the Cloister
Monday, Oct. 7, 2002 - Hot
Monday, Oct. 4, 2002 - Back Entry
Sunday, Sept. 29, 2002 - No Apologies
Friday, Sept. 27, 2002 - Evolution
Thursday, Sept. 26, 2002 - Significations
Tuesday, Sept. 24, 2002 - Glimpse
Sunday, Sept. 22, 2002 - Rough Boys
Friday, Sept. 13, 2002 - While
Thursday, Sept. 5, 2002 - Season's Turn
Wednesday, Sept. 4, 2002 - Summit
Monday, Sept. 2, 2002 - Warm and Fuzzy, Part 2
Monday, Sept. 2, 2002 - Warm and Fuzzy
Friday, Aug. 30, 2002 - Back To School
Thursday, Aug. 29, 2002 - Asterisk
Sunday, Aug. 25, 2002 - Dog and Pony Show
Thursday, Aug. 22, 2002 - Hits and Googles
Sunday, Aug. 18, 2002 - Ghost, Part 2
Friday, Aug. 9, 2002 - Red Barns
Tuesday, Aug. 6, 2002 - Nativity
Friday, Aug. 2, 2002 - My Fair Lady
Monday, July 29, 2002 - For Art Lovers Only
Sunday, July 28, 2002 - Potent Literature
Thursday, July 25, 2002 - Masterpiece
Sunday, June 9, 2002 - Shooting
Saturday, June 1, 2002 - Found
Monday, May 27, 2002 - The Mirror Smack'd
Sunday, May 26, 2002 - The Mirror
Saturday, May 25, 2002 - Adventurer
Friday, May 24, 2002 - Catechism
Thursday, May 23, 2002 - Pack your bag with leaves tonight
Sunday, May 19, 2002 - Task
Sunday, May 19, 2002 - Blood Test
Thursday, May 16, 2002 - The deuce you say
Thursday, May 16, 2002 - Faustina Zulfer reads this diary
Wednesday, May 15, 2002 - Philosophy
Wednesday, May 8, 2002 - Ghost
Tuesday, May 7, 2002 - Peter
Monday, May 6, 2002 - Jack, Part 2
Sunday, May 5, 2002 - Jack
Saturday, May 4, 2002 - James
Friday, May 3, 2002 - The Rainforest Desk
Wednesday, May 1, 2002 - Noble Man
Tuesday, Apr. 30, 2002 - Black Cat
Monday, Apr. 29, 2002 - The Chinese Ivory Desk
Sunday, Apr. 28, 2002 - Paints
Saturday, Apr. 27, 2002 - Cowboy Artists
Friday, Apr. 26, 2002 - Vanished Prairies
Thursday, Apr. 25, 2002 - Another Steve
Monday, Apr. 22, 2002 - Seventeen
Friday, Apr. 19, 2002 - The Fourteenth Continued
Thursday, Apr. 18, 2002 - The Fourteenth, Part 2
Wednesday, Apr. 17, 2002 - The Fourteenth
Saturday, Apr. 13, 2002 - The Big Squeeze
Saturday, Apr. 13, 2002 - Soft
Saturday, Apr. 13, 2002 - Twenty Lines
Thursday, Apr. 11, 2002 - Strawberries And Cream
Wednesday, Apr. 10, 2002 - The Mystery
Tuesday, Apr. 9, 2002 - Steve Canyon was a witness
Special Feature - Cliques, Cabals and Coteries
Sunday, Apr. 7, 2002 - Is free will an oxymoron?
Saturday, Apr. 6, 2002 - Bloody
Thursday, Apr. 4, 2002 - The Fiend
Wednesday, Apr. 3, 2002 - Spook
Tuesday, Apr. 2, 2002 - Options
Monday, Apr. 1, 2002 - Le Mat
Monday, Apr. 1, 2002 - Aleph
guestbutt ~ notes ~ profile ~ rings
copyright � 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005 by gcs
I'tr�m breit vula�oz�o ye spalla ei�tlin nel�ffnes pieqi aummit su berwegr'ra'ao.
