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Human kindness is overflowing Tuesday, Mar. 30, 2004 - entry 352 Even though there is undeniable entertainment value when I say to my friends, quite casually, "Oh, yeah�just the other day, I had a grand mal seizure" it's not quite as exciting as it might seem. The trouble is, my friends and family get to enjoy all the drama and trauma, but by the time I "wake up", I've missed all the fun. I'm really pissed I don't remember the ambulance rides, except for a very abbreviated memory of a cute paramedic (a triple-dimpled Christian Campbell look-alike) asking me if I could tell him my name and my birthday. The Fiend sez he arrived at the hospital to find me nearly naked with an ER nurse who looked like Michael T. Weiss with a goatee, but damn, I don't remember that either. I really, really like your choice for reincarnation, in fact, I want to co-opt it. Is that possible? Is it too late to add another PS. onto your letter to the Dalai Lama, something like, "'Zaziel wants to be a BMX superstar too." You won't need a last name, he'll know who you're talking about. Or should I send him my own letter? entry 351 name: peth Well, the Fiend was prepared somewhat, this time�he had been through it before when I had my first seizure a few days after Christmas last year. That one was far more terrible for him because he didn't know what the hell was wrong with me. That time, bad as it was, it was good that he had Jer with him, and two other friends. And thankfully both seizures were quite short. entry 350 Thanks for the hugs, although it's the Fiend who needs and deserves them more. The seizures were nerve-wracking for the Fiend, Jer, and my other friends who witnessed them, but I feel almost blas� about them. If I had to pick one word about how I felt in the aftermath of a seizure, I would pick "serene". I don't know if this is typical for epilepsy, but I was calm and rather passive after my seizures. And tired, but a good kind of tired, like Friday afternoon after a hard day, but you're finished with work, you have a free weekend ahead, and it's time for a nice nap. BTW, my friend Cassia (Hamlet's fan and yours) sez Hi and she hopes you will be showing us your jealousy painting when it's done, but she'll understand if you don't. entry 349 Well, my neurologist doesn't think I'm taking it seriously enough, but really, I'm just not taking him too seriously. My CT scan and EEG showed nothing, which is not uncommon with epilepsy. Apparently, I've got a perfectly normal brain. (Did you know that most people who have a seizure do not have epilepsy? Anyone can have a seizure, right outta the blue, at any time in their life. I myself had seizures before this, once when I was kid with meningitis, the other was 'bout six-seven years ago, when I first tried cocaine�which was the last time I tried cocaine.) My neurologist wants to run a buncha tests that are gonna cost me mucho moola, and in the end these tests may very well show. . . nothing. But, sez my neurologist, their results might help us figure out the cause of your epilepsy. Will that change the way we treat it? I ask. Uh, no, sez my neurologist, you will still have epilepsy and you will still need to take Phenytoin (generic for Dilantin) every day. Ah, sez I, let me think about this. After a few moments of contemplation, I sez, "You know, doc, I think a $700 contribution to a bloated pharmaceutical corporation every year for the rest of my life, plus the premiums for my medical insurance (which won't pay my prescriptions until I exceed my $1,500 deductible), will be more than adequate support from me for the Great American Medical Industry." ~ Addendum: We're up to #67 in the Revolving Joseph Cornell. This is one of my favorites, Towards the Blue Peninsula. last eleven:
Sa r'ji�o oss�vel meninonceiv �o poshik m�'�nch uscantebatahla o�r musiu o�r muiko.
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