zaziel
Now. Then. Previous. Next. Random. Ernst. Fallen. Crush. Notes&Quotes. Profile. Rings.
I'tr�m breit vula�oz�o ye spalla ei�tlin nel�ffnes pieqi aummit su berwegr'ra'ao.

Nearly Round and Chocolate Brown

Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004 -
Ap�sl�min ida corbalanyrtne 'ls�o rohl'daathi�m v� nen�a iroyss�rd.

I'm sharing a Google page with the Gay Speedos Fantasy Board. What can I say? It's a dream come true.

~

In the real world, I will not take a survey to save my life. Well, actually, I would, but that's 'bout the only reason I'd take a survey. (And to save your life, I would do that, really I would.) I believe that pollsters will be the death of human civilization. But since Diaryland is nowhere near the real world. . .

I, Queen Trixie, have taken over B-W-P's diary and have created this pointless survey. Even if you don't know who Welby is, feel free to answer. Lie, make stuff up, have fun. Be silly. Life is short, enjoy every moment!

1. Describe Welby in one word.

Hey, I've done this before! Hm, let's see, what was the word? Hang on a sec, lemme look it up. Ah, here it is: Cambric. The subtext was "Crisp, White Sleeves." Queen Trixie's word was "girasol" and her subtext was "Depart the continuum of unanimity."

2. If Welby was a tree, what tree would he be?

Let's consult my Trees of North America, A Field Guide to Major Native and Introduced Species North of Mexico. I'm guessing he's a Beech or a Linden. Or maybe number three. The Larch. The Larch. The Larch. Mm, nope. No Welby in the Larix family. And how could I forget that the Beech belongs to the Fagus family�Welby's definitely not one of us, right? He's got wife and progeny and everything�just like the Governor of New Jersey. Well, he's not among the Lindens, let's check the evergreens. Aha! Here he is�the Welby Pine. Pinus welbyana. "Needles, in bundles of five, are seven to eleven inches long, stiff, and dark green. The nearly round chocolate brown cones are four to six inches long, with thick, woody scales, each tipped with a tiny, sharp prickle. The smooth gray-green bark of young trees becomes grayish brown to purplish, scaly and fissured, with age. Grows 20 to 60 feet tall, with a dense, bushy, round-topped crown."

3. What weighs more, a pound of Welby or a pound of extra crunchy peanut butter?

This is a trick question, isn't it? Doesn't everybody know that you measure Welby by the peck or the bushel? His peck weighs more than a pound of crunchy peanut butter, his bushel does not.

4. What did Welby want to be when he grew up? Do you think he ever will?

Phfff. Easy question. He wants to grow up to be me. Everybody does. But so far, apparently, only I have managed to accomplish it. And I'm just barely there.

5. Have you ever had a dream about Welby? If so, please share.

You mean the one where I've got my nose in his bushel and his peck halfway down my throat?

6. Is Welby full of it? If so, what is it?

Who cares? Ask me if I want to be full of Welby, and where.

7. How has Welby inspired you?

Gee, I think I'm reaching new heights of naughtiness right here.

8. Welby is a yeti. Welby is also a girl. Discuss.

I'm sorry. As inspiration for left-handed literature, these images fail me utterly.

9. What number is Welby thinking of right now? Pink Elephant!

Blue Moose! For this type of question, 69 is always the classic answer, but I'm gonna go with the red numbers this time.

10. Please take this moment to share your favorite memory of Welby. I'll wait.

You mean the one where I've got my nose in his bushel and his peck halfway down my throat? Oh, wait�that was just a dream, right? Yeah, yeah, that's right, just a dream. Like, I've never met the man. Never. Nope. Don't know 'im. People who say we were dirty dancing together at the Geffen/Reeves wedding are total liars. Sheesh, I was in prison when David and Keanu got hitched. Wasn't I? Did they get married in '95 or '96?

11. Also, please write a Welby related Haiku. I bet you can't. Double dog dare ya!

Proud-wang'd Colossus
strides across fertile lands of
articulation.

12. I think if Welby was a television character he would be the Professor on Gilligan's Island. Agree or not?

Oh yeah. The Professor was definitely a proud-wang'd Colossus striding across fertile lands of articulation. Either him or Captain Kangaroo. Now, if anyone asks you this question about me, the answer is Gardner McKay as Adam Troy in Adventures in Paradise. Remember that. There might be a pop quiz later.

13. Do you have a question or comment for Welby? He won't bite. Do you bite? I bite. Shhhh....

I nibble. Umm...gee whizz, Welby ol' man...all in fun, y'know?

14. I hope you have a nice day. What do you hope?

I hope Welby has a keen eye for the surreal and an appreciation for irony.

Now you can also add a short comment if you like, for instance "This was a fun survey", etc.

As a feeble excuse for this rampant salaciousness, all I can say in my defense is that I haven't had any for a week.

<~>
Ap�sl�min ida corbalan� 'lse nesgla ugar�-cham sa cru ogrulho bat�oltha al�mv�sde.

last eleven:

Resurrection - Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Arts and Letters -
Friday, June 17, 2005
Domestic Obsessions -
Tuesday, April 5, 2005
The Kindness of Strangers -
Tuesday, April 5, 2005
Gone -
Saturday, April 2, 2005
Coming Back, Little By Little -
Saturday, April 2, 2005
Effing Around -
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Explicably Yours -
Wednesday, February 9, 2005
Things Too Innumerable To Mention -
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Mr. Armstrong -
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
The Pope in Our Kitchen -
Saturday, October 2, 2004



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Sa r'ji�o oss�vel meninonceiv �o poshik m�'�nch uscantebatahla o�r musiu o�r muiko.
Copyright � 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005 by gcs

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