Pack your bag with leaves tonight

Thursday, May 23, 2002 -
Ap�sl�min ida corbalanyrtne 'ls�o rohl'daathi�m v� nen�a iroyss�rd.

I think Rob Brezsny is a fun guy, and I love the man for what he does, but I don't believe in astrology, not even one leetle teensy-weensy beet. It's not one of my superstitions. I have superstitions, but I'm trying to get rid of them. I'm trying to be a good atheist, and a reasonably reasonable man of reason. I'm pretty sure I've rid myself of any belief in all the major superstitions, aka religions, from Alchemy to Zoroastrianism. But I am still vaguely troubled by the number 13, spilt salt, antique dolls, moths, cemeteries at night, and green M&Ms. And I knock on wood.

Dictionary.com has three entries under "superstition":

n. 1. An irrational belief that an object, action, or circumstance not logically related to a course of events influences its outcome. 2. a. A belief, practice, or rite irrationally maintained by ignorance of the laws of nature or by faith in magic or chance. b. A fearful or abject state of mind resulting from such ignorance or irrationality. c. Idolatry.

[Middle English supersticion, from Old French superstition, from Latin superstiti, superstitin-, from superstes, superstit-, standing over.]

Source: The American Heritage� Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Copyright � 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

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n. [F. superstition, L. superstitio, originally, a standing still over or by a thing; hence, amazement, wonder, dread, especially of the divine or supernatural, fr. superstare to stand over; super over + stare to stand.] 1. An excessive reverence for, or fear of, that which is unknown or mysterious. 2. An ignorant or irrational worship of the Supreme Deity; excessive exactness or rigor in religious opinions or practice; extreme and unnecessary scruples in the observance of religious rites not commanded, or of points of minor importance; also, a rite or practice proceeding from excess of sculptures in religion. 3. The worship of a false god or gods; false religion; religious veneration for objects. 4. Belief in the direct agency of superior powers in certain extraordinary or singular events, or in magic, omens, prognostics, or the like. 5. Excessive nicety; scrupulous exactness.

Syn: Fanaticism.

Usage: Superstition, Fanaticism. Superstition springs from religious feeling misdirected or unenlightened. Fanaticism arises from this same feeling in a state of high-wrought and self-confident excitement. The former leads in some cases to excessive rigor in religious opinions or practice; in others, to unfounded belief in extraordinary events or in charms, omens, and prognostics, hence producing weak fears, or excessive scrupulosity as to outward observances. The latter gives rise to an utter disregard of reason under the false assumption of enjoying a guidance directly inspired. Fanaticism has a secondary sense as applied to politics, etc., which corresponds to the primary.

Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, � 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.

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n : an irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear [syn: superstitious notion]

Source: WordNet � 1.6, � 1997 Princeton University

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None of these definitions say anything about fun, do they? Why isn't there any mention of fun in these definitions? I think superstitions should be fun, don't you?

Sometimes, I get a bit... exasperated... with the way human beings cling to their irrational, illusory, and hopelessly outdated faiths. But hey, I'll admit it, I'm human too, I've got more than a few cherished illusions of my own. I guess the biggest problem I have with True Believers is that they take themselves too damn seriously. They need to lighten up, fer chrissake. Or fer Mohammed's sake. Or Buddha's sake. Or Vishnu's (or Brahma's or Shiva's) sake. Or Moroni's sake. Or Gaia's sake. Or Baphomet's sake. Or Zarathushtra's sake. Or L. Ron Hubbard's sake. Or Joseph Campbell's sake. Whoever, whatever. Etc.

Just chill, True Believers. So what if at least two-thirds (or more) of the world's population doesn't believe in your God? They're the ones going to hell in a hand-basket, not you. You and God are tight, right? You're cool with the Lord, and He's cool with you. You've got it Made In The Shade. You've got a Sure Thing. So why risk your ticket to paradise* by indulging in suicide pacts, self-immolations, the slaughter of infidels, and other acts of proselytization? For heaven's sake, don't freak! And stop telling people that God hates them just because they don't believe in the same things you do. Get real. You damn well know you're not the center of your God's universe. You don't think God dispenses his immaculate heavenly justice according to your faves and pet-peeves, do you? And isn't your God perfect? So ask yourself, why the fuck would a Perfect Being need to hate anyone? Go ahead, ask yourself. And for Pete's sake, have some fun with the answer! Even if you don't believe in Pete.

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*or your chicken to paralyze

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Ap�sl�min ida corbalan� 'lse nesgla ugar�-cham sa cru ogrulho bat�oltha al�mv�sde.

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